smells like content

As I reflect on the last 3 years of my young adulthood (I like the sound of that), I think about all of the influences and experiences I have been exposed to in the last few years. Being 6 months in my current relationship forces me to reflect on the past present and future in order to grow and gain those important lessons that I’ve been able to learn from dating…men (mostly).  A popular subject that many young women are worried about constantly: Dating. It is the inevitable and every parent dreads their daughters having to experience heartache and angst behind a man.

As I have had a variety of different guy friends in my life, I have learned that the bottom line about dating someone is, you have to know what you want and you have to be on the same page.

My mother once told me that you can't be with someone who is not on your level. I took offense to this as I thought the person I was dating was the best thing…EVER. Well, clearly not...

It is important to be equally IN, like, you can’t be super obsessed with some guy who won’t even return your calls, or vice-versa. You feel me?

That way, you will get rid the drama that comes with the person not understanding why you do what you do. Plus, you’ll also find that it is easier to take your boyfriend/husband to public functions without having to explain why this person can't have an intelligent conversation with your colleagues. (PET PEEVE ALET)


It is so easy to settle for someone just because we as women are tricked into thinking that we are limited to what comes to us. (I say dream ladies…do not hold yourselves back. Go after what you KNOW you want and deserve to have. )

Now that I realize that is not so true, I value the relationship that I have now. My man is so amazing. He is on the path to greatness and I love to embrace him and the way he supports me in all that I do. He keeps it real with me but he is always pushing me to continue working hard to achieve my dreams.

I’m not saying he is THE one, but it wouldn't be so bad if he was, ya know what I mean?

But to continue discussing dating, I was having another one of those amazing conversation with the ladies at my office a couple of days ago, and…well…let me add some context so you don’t think that’s all we talk about ( when in fact it is). I was having a hard time in my current relationship; which is absolutely natural to be stumped in certain issues when you don’t have that much experience ;-)


Listening attentively to what was said, this is what I gathered.

We have to learn what we want before we try to tell someone else how to make us happy (duh!). It is so easy to look and find someone who is willing to do whatever it is to make you happy but if you can't do it without the presence of a significant other, as women we have to make it happen for ourselves.


Otherwise, having a boyfriend or husband is only going to last as long as the person has the momentum to keep going without having that satisfaction returned. You got that…? Let me simplify…. He’ll leave your ass when he gets fed up.

I’m not talking about sex, don’t get ahead of yourselves, ( …or do, I’m not judging), that is another conversation but it is important to know what makes you happy so someone is not playing the guessing game from months or years just to end up hurt.

With that being said, ladies, embrace yourselves; love yourselves before trying to get someone else to love you. Otherwise, you will find yourself constantly asking what the problem is. It’s YOU…It’s always been YOU.



 We change and grow so much at different stages in our lives.

If you are single remember, there is no rush in dating, get to know yourself, the person, then share yourself. If you are in a relationship, learn make sure you have a friendship with that person as well as a romantic relationship. That friendship will be the foundation of something great and will keep everyone reminded as to why you are there in the first place.

If all that fails…SEX!!!