Follow Where It Leads
This past week, for a change, I went to Pemba to attend a company training.
While I was there, I got the opportunity to be with some childhood friends. People whom I haven’t seen for over 10 years.
I went out to have drinks, had lunch with a new friend and then had a random conversation with a stranger trying to recruit for children's international.
Lunch got me thinking about how I can tie my work into benefitting humanity in some way. I mean, grant it I do help my mother and sisters. But, overall I’ve been feeling empty about my imprint on this world. Environmentally I am extremely prudent, but i mean my imprint on the human condition. At the exact moment i was reflecting on and feeling rather pathetic about doing literally nothing with my money but drinking it away, paying bills, and benefitting myself I was, as fate would have it, approached by a young lady.
This particular young lady is travelling across the continent of Africa, telling children’s story to various groups of kids. She uses colorful books, with majestic illustrations to inspire children to dream and believe in the endless capacity of the mind.
I listened to her tell me about her journey. And I couldn’t help feeling…useless.
Timing is everything.
Though I have no belief in God anymore, this concept of 'fate' is always being grappled with in my mind.
Opportunities are presented on a daily basis, and I try to remain open to them.
Time unfortunately does not always allow, but I find these days when i have nothing planned and I’m just wandering at home or wandering on my way somewhere are when i have the most meaningful interactions.
And it seems that whenever I am particularly plague by a thought something happens that is extremely relevant to that thought process - something that provokes further thought or leads to an insight.
This has been occurring for many years now, since i hung out with homeless men on the train tracks in the US.
I always learn something from these experiences, if I remain open to them.
The other week i chatted with a homeless south African man who’s made it all the way to Pemba, i met a scholar in a bar, and swam with people I met biking.
Back to these thoughts: lately i'm bothered by my inadequacy to benefit humanity. By my selfishness.
since moving to this city (Maputo) i've been thinking heavily about how i am giving back and if i am living my life with meaning.
in a day to day sense, i live passionately, but for me. my work is meaningless, i do nothing that leaves me feeling fulfilled. i live a life of selfishness, of self-pleasures.
the past few years have been an awakening in every way possible, and i'm glad to be on this continuous journey, but goodness is it a long journey.