I haven't written in a while, well…actually Ithat’s not true, I have …but I haven’t posted anything in a while, which is a pitty since these are the best times, the blissful times, the times when my heart is not afraid and this life is blessing me with something that I can only thank the universe, and all you people for, which is peace of mind, and happiness
These past few months were not easy, but to be honest, none of the things which shape us ever are easy. What have I learned? So much. I learned how much love can leave a deep wound in your heart.
You’re thinking to yourself right now, “This isn’t new to me.”, and in a way it isn't- but let me finish my thought …now after 22 years I have given my heart to many chances, and exposed it to many elements, and it has been used and beaten into new shapes, sometimes unrecognizeable, sometimes, with no sign of life… but scars are not the only things these wounds gave me…
… wounds give us a chance to heal, and to experience the beauty and the wonder of that healing. The scars will remind us for the rest of our lives, not of the mistakes we made, but of the bravery we are capable of. Through all the hardship, our hearts keep beating, even when you feel like you cant keep going, we all have that one little thing that keeps us pushing…we all have a purpose. Or Faith. Whether it be in God, or in science, or in humanity… it pulls us through the impossible obstacles of misfortune and consequence…a.k.a. heartache, to the other side, where we get a chance to take a breath of fresh air, and to feel like survivors, reborn with greater self-love, compassion, empathy and strength.
I wish I could tell you the reasons that led to my breakup, but it would be unnecessary to dwell on the past when I have so many good things to tell you about the present.
All this to say…I fell in love again. I totally didn't mean to! But he has taught me so much in the five months I've known him, just like those I've loved before him, and at the same time in a way I've never experienced before, and never will again. I don't know what will happen between him and I in a month, or a year. I just hope he knows, for the rest of his life, how much I will always appreciate his being a part of my life, and how much love I have and will always have for him.
What do I know about life?
all I know is what I've lived, and in this moment I am thankful, for everything, and I can only hope that you are happy enough to be thankful, too.