somewhere in the north of norway

Before I tell you what I'm up to now, let me just a share a little trip I went on about a week ago.
Per Heimly, the photographer whom I'n interning with, was invited to inagurate a an event that happens yearly in a small little village... town... whatever,  in the North of Norway called Snubba. This place is known for its eccentric people, the Laplanders.

I was lucky enough to have visited a side of the world so pure and mystical and so absolutely... boring.
I heard that the population of this pretty little place have an elevated number of booze abusers. I dont blame them... if I lived there I would get drunk all freaking day. Beer and bacon for breakfast.

Needless to say, I had plenty of time to think about things...you know, because I normally dont. I dont take enough time to enjoy things, I mean, I do naturally... but there are certain moments that I'm just so overwhelmed with fear, or anxiety that it over powers my senses and takes me to a place that I dont like to go to very often, Doubt. Like, I doubt my ability to make good or smart decisions. 

Sometimes, I just put myself in situations just to see how far I can take it, or where it will go and if I had predicted it right... it's not really the "danger" that makes me do this. I think it's the possibility that it may not go as I predicted or planned... so it becomes more exciting or whatever. And if it does, I get some sort of unexplainable pleasure out of it. Like manipulation, but not in a bad sense.

I would never put myself in a situation I know I cant get out of... but, just the thought that it may not go as planned excites me!

Like, getting invited to some chicks house whom you've just met to watch the midnight sun, in the north of norway, with a dead cellphone battery and no sense of direction to where your temporary 'home' is. 

I could have made a safe decision and said 'No thanks.' and stuck to my crew and made my way safely to bed. But I stuck around, because I wanted to know if there's anything these people know that I dont. 

And so through all these unpredictable encounters,  interesting topics of conversations have been discussed. I remember once sharing my thoughts with stranger about time, and all the wonders around it. How sometimes your memories seem to be lost in time. Like for instance, there are people that you meet who sort of melt into your life so perfectly. I've only lived in Maputo for about 5 years now, and the friends that I've made there, it's hard to remember a life where they werent here. I have strange flashbacks of the US and think " Why wasnt So and so there?"

And how time sometimes seems to slip right out of your fingers, you can never wake up early enough or get to bed early enough before the day is gone and you still havent done your laundry. So, tomorrow you gotta wake up early to get it done. Before you know it's july and you have a few weeks to see the rest of Europe. 

And how time can be spent in so many different ways...and just the possibilities of the things you could do...

I remember someone asked me, "What do you think is more valuable, time or money? Because, I like to relax, you know, take it easy. I only work if I need money. If I have enough money to live, I dont need to work anymore then that. So I have plenty of time to hang around and relax. I try to work the least possible. Easy money, you can call it. so, time or money?" and I just laughed and thought about it for second and said "Money, of course. Because with money, you can buy time. You can afford not to do anything. And, easy money doesnt last." and this led to a rather extensive discussion of the matter that I will spare you from. 

I also remember a conversation where we came to an agreement that love is a dirty  business. It's like talking about politics or religion. We just cant get to the bottom of it. We talked about cheating and how to deal, what is acceptable and so on. Honestly speaking, I cant give a direct answer as to what is right or wrong, I just think it's such a sensitive subject that there is no right or wrong, I guess its just about dealing with it the best way you can. But I dont know...I get carried away and start talking a bunch of crap...

Let met just end with this...I still have so much to learn. I'm flawed and openly learning to be a good person. I can only hope that the good spirt that carries me through this, the feeling that shines through my eyes, smile and fingertips, is a sign that I'm doing something... good