1. Start immediately. 2. Do it flamboyantly. 3. No exceptions.

I honestly have no idea what to talk about. At all.
Well...things have been strange lately.
Two times last week I found myself driving at night. No idea where I was going, and with no one but my thoughts and the music playing. When you live in a city like this, and everything is at your fingertips, you tend to feel trapped. The first night everything in my life had me on end, and I turned off my phone, told the bf I was going to sleep, and made an attempt to escape. Looking back I don't know what I was trying to escape. I think I just wanted to be reminded that there is life elsewhere, and that I'm not trapped. By doing something completely unexpected and spontaneous, it was living proof that free will still exists. And I almost didn't come home... but without trying I ended up on Av. 24 de Julho and before I knew it was back home.

As odd as it may seem, I think I subconsciously directed myself back. At first I tried to pass it and drive around down town, aimlessly like a lost tourist. Then I realized there's no use. I came back to the house and eventually fell asleep.

The next attempt was far worse. I stayed on a single road and chose to drive straight the other way. I knew I was forcing myself though and briefly turned back around.

I don't know what I was trying to do... run away? Escape briefly? Kill the atmosphere? But whatever it was, I certainly didn't find it.

And I did in fact pay for my own gas too.

But now, I have the studio to keep me company on those days.


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